Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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