I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
