Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
