Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
