yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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