If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
