You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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