I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
