I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
