Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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