he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
