i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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