I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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