Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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