dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
