It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
