He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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