I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
