Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize