He asked to "fluff my boner.."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My feet surprised me
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