and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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