Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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