I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
