we have pet lesbian snakes
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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