I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize