I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
As shirtless as possible
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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