so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
