TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
