At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
