i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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