I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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