I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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