Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we're making bets on your personal life
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sext me about skeletons
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
