I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Your dad touched me again.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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