Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
