i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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