he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
