Sry I called you an 8
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
