the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
