Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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