so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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