This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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