party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
