Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
