you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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