I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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