Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
