My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
