just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
