i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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