OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize