All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
