No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Randomize
