WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
