My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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