oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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