Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.