ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
