i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
