I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
